UgliFruit

Has anyone ever seen one of these things?  You might have passed it by in the grocery store, and headed straight to the freezer section where you discretely speed-dialed customer service, wanting to report the rotting fruit at the front of the store.  But it’s not rotting, it’s actually edible, and pretty darn good! (That is, if you’re into oranges, because it’s essentially an orange’s less attractive, but really nice sister.  And yes, you should feel bad for it.  I do.).  So if you really want to embarrass your children, send them off to school with one of these nestled into the lunchbox and don’t expect to be greeted at pickup with a flurry of hugs and kisses. 

ME: OK guys, here’s the….what is this called again?

LAUREN: Uh, Ugly fruit!

ME: Oh, no, she just called it an ugly fruit.  That’s so mean.  Do you think it’s an ugly fruit?

LAUREN: Yeah, it looks ugly, but, actually, I think it tastes good.

ME: Have you had it before?

LAUREN: No, but I think it tastes good.

SAM: (Holding it up) I’m going to marry you!

ME: Oh, Sam, that’s so nice of you, what a gentleman.  Why are you going to marry it?  Because you feel bad for it? 

SAM: (no answer, just a confused look.  Maybe he said “I’m going to carry you.”)

ME: What does it smell like?

LAUREN: Hmmm, it has a strong smell.

ME: It’s like a genie in a bottle, if you rub it, it will smell even stronger.

ME: What does it smell like now?

LAUREN: I think it smells like a stroooong orange.

ME: Should we see what it looks like on the inside?

LAUREN: It looks like an orange!

ME: What do you think it’s going to taste like?

LAUREN: An orange.

SAM: An orange.

EMMA: Owan (orange).

ME: Take a bite then.

LAUREN: An orange.

SAM: An orange.

EMMA: Owan (orange).

ME: Ok everyone, I know this is going to surprise you but it looks like we’ve simply stumbled on an ugly orange!

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