Poor Jack, doesn’t realize that Old Navy they don’t give out bacon treats. Just look at him waiting so patiently, dagger through the heart.
This week we had a few themes going on for Wordless Wednesday, not intentionally of course, but some connections that occurred include: things that went missing (bacon, my neck), adventures with pee, and adventures with too much alcohol. But of course we end on a good note so that you don’t report me to child protective services.
RODNEY: “Why are you sending one word responses to my emails?” ME: “Obviously because I’m in a cab balancing a 5-lb macaroni and cheese in one hand. And that just took me half an hour to write. Dammit.” Alternate caption for this picture: “Woman with floating head carries mac ‘n cheese.”
ME: “Why am I crouching in this nasty corner with pee and graffiti?” RODNEY: “Why are you crouching in that nasty corner with pee and graffiti?” ME: “Because I was trying to jump out and surprise you but it didn’t work. Have a nice day at the office.”
On the topic of pee, here is a picture that I posted on FB, with the caption “any guesses”. NO people, it was not full of pee. Do you think that I’d post a jar of my pee on FB for all the world to see? And do you think that I’m severely dehydrated? And no, it was not whiskey either. Or kombucha. It was bacon grease, heading straight towards some roasted potatoes or chocolate chip cookies.
Again, on the topic of pee, the beauty of the can is deceiving. What it tastes like, particularly after it’s been warming at your desk for a few hours while you sip and work, is….well, you know where I’m going with this. And why was I drinking at the office again? Oh, right, office party. Was concerned for a second that there wasn’t a reason.
Now, on the topic of drinking. You know when you’re working too hard when you’re squirreled away in the back bedroom, hunched over a laptop, and your husband sends in reinforcements. Thanks, I was trying to take a night off drinking, but twist my arm. It’s not like I voluntarily asked for it.
Again, on the topic of drinking, some light bedtime reading.
Again, on the topic of drinking, keep your alcohol far, far away from the kids. Especially when you’ve taught them that it’s OK to walk around in public with their PJs on, getting fro yo after bedtime on a Wednesday night. These formative childhood experiences could land them on a street corner pushing a shopping cart full of old newspapers when they’re older. We want to avoid this.