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I once dated a guy from Australia. I won’t go into the details, but if you’d like to read more about that ill-fated situation, you can always check out this post where I discuss things like his fire-fighting skills and clinical amnesia.

This guy, let’s just call him D– once claimed that everything Americans do is done on a big scale.  Every movie theater is a Megaplex, every stadium screen is a Jumbotron, every soft drink is a 64-oz Big Gulp.

I acknowledged his point, responding that while yes, this is sometimes the case, America can also be quaint and lovely and not at all grandiose.

Take for instance the Fall Festival that we attended last weekend. The event organizers could have made it over-the-top and glittered with gold. But really, who needs to be the best Fall Festival in town? Not these guys. Modesty was the name of the game.

We were welcomed by some ghostly goblins. 

Welcome collage

And became acquainted with seasonal farm equipment. 

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Next we found a carousel…

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A Ferris Wheel…

Ferris Wheel Collage

Carnival-moving vans with all kinds of amusements and curiosities …

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There were spooky creatures, and a gentle dog named Fluffy.

Spooky Collage

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Hmmm…Maybe I was wrong about this place. Somehow we’d stumbled into the Halloween Mega-Farm event of the year. How do the masses not know about this? Where were the people? Do I spill the beans, or do we keep it a secret?

Given that I’m a kindhearted individual, I decided to share our top secret MegaFarmFestival information. It’s held every year at Heaven Hill Farm in Northern New Jersey, making it a close drive for anyone in the Tri-State area. Just don’t tell D–.

Yes, it’s the kind of over-the-top flag-waving festival that might make others beeline for the woods, but it’s one hell of a place to spend an afternoon with kids.

There was a pumpkin patch…

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Quizzes that tested our decidedly limited understanding of farm life….

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You can’t be an over-the-top festival with some kind of bouncy house, am I right?

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Now let’s talk about rides. Spinners, launchers, ride-on vehicles and carousels, this farm had them all.

Rides Collage

Oh, welcome again! One of the many welcome signs throughout the farm, and a perfect place to rest after each child had won giant balloons.

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Tired yet? Let’s go, there’s more to explore.

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It’s pumpkin time kids, each one of you choose one. A small one. 

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Hm, I think I said “small”.

This?

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Fine. And I’ll buy the long, warped skinny one because I feel bad that nobody will want to buy it.

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But there’s more! Animals…. 

Animals Collage

(that tail, swoon)

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Races with animals….

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Now, let’s talk about the farm-style activities. These things kept my kids busy for hours. Not a half an hour, I’m talking hours. The tire…

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The tube…

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Tube Collage

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But hold on, there’s more! A fully-operational corn maze complete with multiple loops…

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Hi guys!

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Lost.

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Hmmmm, it’s getting hot in here…

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Is anybody else in here?

Corn Maze Collage

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We’re getting out of here!

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My thoughts exactly.

Now on to basketball. And I promise that we’re almost done…key word: almost.

Basketball Collage

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Slingshots. The game is to launch tennis balls at a witch who’s hanging from a rope. Yikes.

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Baseball…

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Go carts I tell you, Go Carts! In a cornfield racetrack no less.

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And that’s a wrap. Because I think that we covered every usable inch of available farmland. Homeward bound team…They’re shutting this place down for the night anyway.

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Just one more thing… 

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Reservoir Dogs, returning from duty.

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