I have a confession: I’ve never cooked collard greens at home. I’ve eaten them plenty of times, but for some reason, whenever I’ve got greens in mind I go for kale or chard. Collards have to be cooked a little longer than other greens to soften them, but otherwise, they are delicious eaten with a touch of olive oil and salt. A splash of vinegar works too, but since we’re being purists in our challenge I try to keep the flavors as close to their natural state as possible.
Verdict on collard greens? Our conversation was long and confusing and I still don’t have an answer. Apologies.
ME: Ok. Mystery food right now is….
EMMA: I want purple.
ME: Who can tell me what this is?
LAUREN: Greens, greens, greens.
ME: Yeah. It’s greens. What kind of greens.
LAUREN: Uh salad greens?
ME: Uh Nope. It’s not salad greens. What kind of greens.
ME: She got it! Collards. Did you say Collards?
EMMA: [Nods yes].
ME: Yeah!!!! How’d you know?
SAM: She went to Jamaica.
ME: Oh my gosh. Did you go to Jamaica? How did you know it was collard greens? You just guessed? That was really smart. Ok, who wants to smell the collard greens?
ME: Ok. Smell it.
EMMA: [sniffing]. Yummy!
ME: Yeah? What does it smell like?
SAM: It smells like… like a… it smells like —
EMMA: Oh, it keeps falling.
ME: Do you want a bigger fork?
EMMA: Yeah, Ok.
SAM: It smells like… it smells like um —
ME: Take a big smell.
LAUREN: Uh, I don’t know. It looks nice.
ME: It looks nice?
LAUREN: Like greens.
ME: It looks like greens. Ok. Who wants to take the first taste of the collard greens?
ME: Ok, Lauren’s going to taste it. And, Emma is going to taste it.
SAM: I don’t want to taste it.
LAUREN: It tastes like olive oil.
ME: There’s a little bit olive oil in there, yeah, because I had to cook them.
SAM: Why do I have two forks?
ME: I don’t know why you have two forks.
SAM: Maybe that was magic.
ME: Maybe it was magic. What do you think, Emma? You guessed the vegetable this week, do you like it?
EMMA: [nodding yes].
ME: What do they taste like?
ME: They taste like juice?
ME: I bet you would like green juices because they make juices out of greens.
EMMA: No, they turn them into pink juice.
ME: There are pink juices too.
LAUREN: Has Sam tried it yet?
ME: Sam has not tried it yet.
ME: Emma loves it. Here, Sam.
ME: Spicy? It’s not spicy.
LAUREN: Spicy? [giggling].
ME: There’s no spicy in it.
SAM: I don’t like it.
ME: You don’t like it? Because it’s too spicy?
EMMA: It is not spicy. Mine is not spicy.
ME: No, your’s is not spicy.
ME: So, what do you guys think? Should we get collard greens again?
LAUREN: Um, no.
ME: You said ‘yeah’, Sam, but you didn’t like it?
EMMA: I do.
SAM: No. I wouldn’t get them again.
ME: I’m confused. What about you, Lauren?
ME: No. But you would Emma, right?
ME: Oh! You said you would. You said you liked them.
EMMA: I do.
ME: Yeah. You do like them?
EMMA: But I don’t.
ME: Ok. Alright, so that’s it, no more?
SAM: No more.
EMMA: I liked them.